Time Is All We Have

One of the paths I take for my morning jog leads to, around and through a local cemetery. I like it; it’s very quiet and beautiful there just after sunrise. I love to feel the fresh morning air coursing through my lungs and feel the beat of my heart pumping fast as I jog laps around several hundred plots of sarcophagi. It’s a bit of a paradoxical experience.

Sometimes I stop and look at the graves. Some are adorned with flowers, some with small flags. Most, however, stand alone, with nothing but a last name carved in stone and two dates. Some have no names at all. Some date as far back as the 1800’s—names of beloveds, of children, of soldiers. Names I recognize amongst generations of locals. Names of those I never knew in life, but now see the only proof of their existence.

When I see the sun rise about an inch above the trees, I start to head back home. Jogging is my alone time, and there’s been a lot on my mind these days—plenty to do and worry about, plenty of stress, plenty of drama. But running through a cemetery the first thing in the morning is such a good thing. It reminds me that today might be all I have.

 “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life? (Matthew 6:25-26, NIV)

I once attended a lecture at Belmont University by author and atheist Dan Barker with the Freedom from Religion Foundation. The story of his conversion to atheism was fascinating, as it greatly paralleled mine when I had left the LDS Church (Mormonism). As he spoke, I remembered my own leanings towards atheism after leaving a religion that had enveloped and controlled every aspect of my life—a religion that had hid many truths from me for the sake of, ironically, not shaking my faith; a religion that controlled my time and what I did with it. A beloved religion dying in one’s life is an angst that is difficult to describe, yet I truly identified with Barker as he told his story. Trying to exist in a world of power-driven religious zealots who define God for you? Believe me, a godless, idol-less life certainly appealed to me.

After the lecture was over, I was one of the last to exit the auditorium while watching a flow of people make their way to the lobby to buy Barker’s books. Ah, so that’s what he’s doing with his time: Selling, marketing—making non-believers out of believers, furthering the cause of freedom from religion. And who could blame him? I’m sure he made bank that night as a throng of students vied for his autograph and a chance to talk to him about his views. Not me. I worshipped the gods of caffeine by purchasing a small cappuccino to-go, and headed through the doors and down the street towards my car, very glad that I attended that lecture. I agreed with many of the points Barker made that evening, and I’ll be the first to say that freedom from religion is a worthy objective for any individual that wishes to find peace.

As I was driving back home that evening, several questions ran through my mind: What makes Barker any different than the preacher at the pulpit on Sunday mornings? What makes his books worth reading more than books written by religious gurus and theists? What makes the Freedom from Religion Foundation different than any marketed religion, philosophy or way of thinking?

“No one can serve two masters. Either you will hate the one and love the other, or you will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and money.” (Matthew 6: 24)

The answer is, quite frankly, nothing makes him any different. It appears to me that belief or even the lack of thereof has become a substitute for living a simple, uncomplicated life of faith. Like any enterprise, belief has been marketed to the masses for money, influence, power and control over hearts, minds, souls and pocketbooks—and apparently, that includes atheism. And as I take my daily jog past graves decorated with flowers, pinwheels, stuffed animals and flags, even those with nothing but a cross or headstone jutting out of the dirt, nothing really makes a difference there, either—for everyone there has one thing in common: they’re dead (Luke 9:60).

So what makes Jesus Christ any different?  No pastor’s or televangelist’s sermon influenced me to believe in him; no lecture at a prestigious university influenced me. Missionaries didn’t convince me, nor did clever media campaigns, warm, fuzzy commercials or tear-jerking movie or TV series. It wasn’t a worship song on the latest best-selling CD on the Gospel/Contemporary Christian charts, no best-selling, must-read books that convinced me. In fact, if I could send a message to all professing Christian ministers preaching in front of the empty, white-washed tombs of corporate religion, it would be this: I’m not a believer in Jesus because of you. I’m a believer in Jesus because of Jesus. And if I could send a message to Dan Barker and his followers, it would be this: I am not a non-believer because of you and your story. My belief in a “greater power” (let’s call It “God”) exists because of how It’s been revealed in my life, not in yours or anyone else’s.

We are not born as Christians or atheists. We are not born to believe; we are born with inherent faith, a reliance on things greater than our own selves, and on which we have no control. We are born to live, to love, to be loved and feel loved. For whether one believes in God or not, we all have faith that the sun will rise and set, that we will be safe in our homes, our workplaces and schools, our travels, while we sleep. That we will wake up to another day of life—and know that one day we won’t.

I can’t blame someone for turning atheistic or agnostic. Being told what to believe and how to believe it allows very little room for faith, for there is a difference between believing and knowing. I have to say, I’ve become quite unorthodox in my views because of this. I understand why the tall tales and fables in the Bible and other holy books deemed as “scripture” exist, but it doesn’t mean I believe them, nor do I have to. I have great trouble with those who claim they’ve had “visions” (Paul’s vision on a road, Joseph Smith’s in a grove of trees, Mohammad’s in a cave, etc.) and I don’t have to believe them, either (Matthew 24: 23-25). And I might get some audible gasps on this one, but…I don’t know if Mary was a virgin; maybe she was, maybe she wasn’t. Nor do I know if Jesus was resurrected; maybe he was, maybe he wasn’t. I don’t know what his followers witnessed. I don’t know what parts of the Bible are original or have been manipulated for marketing Christianity to the masses throughout the centuries. Heck, I don’t even believe most of what I hear and see today!

Because my faith relies upon the difference between believing and knowing, Jesus happens to do something for me, personally. He appeals to my belief. Why? He didn’t ask me to believe in a book of scripture, convert to a religion, or believe in a vision—didn’t coerce, persuade, convince or lecture. I like how his life and teachings ring true and make me feel. But feelings can deceive, so if I am to believe Jesus as “God in the flesh” right now, today, my own logic and reason tells me that he also wouldn’t expect me to know that he existed then, any more than I know those who lie in the graves I pass on my morning jog. So again, why do I believe?

Everything changes; nothing stays the same. All things go through some kind evolution. The world has certainly changed; many species have survived, adapted or have become extinct. Human civilizations, cultures and religions have survived, adapted or have become extinct. But one thing stays consistent: Time. And I don’t like to waste mine. If I believe in Jesus, I do it and I’m done. For I prefer that the “God” I believe in remain a mystery. The “God” I believe in is not a hypocrite. The “God” I believe in doesn’t invest in the stock market, profit on the poor and reward the rich. The “God” I believe in knows that actions speak louder than mere words. The “God” I believe in doesn’t command, “Do not kill’, then condones and justifies killing crusades, ethnic cleansing and genocide. The “God” I believe in does not command love and then does not love.

^“For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him.” (John 3:16-17)

Jesus knew would not be received by the world (John 1:10-13). And sure enough, the world continues to do what they do best: destroy. If my one belief was for sale (which it isn’t), I sure wouldn’t sell it out to religions, much less today’s duplicitous Christianity! But love? Ah yes, now, love is something I can grasp on to. Jesus said that the two greatest “commandments” were to love God and love our neighbors. He even went as far as to say to love our enemies. Yeah, that’s sure happened…not.

Have we still not learned our history lessons, or do we continue to live in denial of time-proven truths? Do we waste time perpetuating religious dogma and political agendas, or do actions speak louder than words—or scripture? For if people haven’t even learned how to be nice to each other and live in peace, who cares what anyone believes, whether Jesus, Buddha, Mohammad, Joseph Smith, Mary Baker Eddy—or even Dan Barker? If people haven’t learned how to practice being kind, forgiving, generous, selfless, loving—who cares what is preached from the pulpits, the airwaves or the Internet? If people are still hating, destroying and killing in the name of God (and Jesus) then how should anyone expect me to believe in such a God?

I guess what draws me to Jesus alone (minus all the religious dogma), is what he represented throughout time. If there were a Higher Power that was mindful of the lifespan of a planet insistent on a destructive course, then why not sacrifice Itself out of love for it in order to relay the message to such a world that love is the only answer that will save it? That love is God, and God is love? As far as eternal life, I don’t know what is beyond death, whether we close our eyes and that’s it, or whether there are other dimensions of time and space that we do not know or cannot see, those “many mansions” as written in John 14:2. Even the most brilliant of scientific minds cannot explain or fathom the concept of infinity. But why does that even matter if we haven’t learned how to love each other? We are limited in our intelligence, just as we are limited in our time here. So what has the world done with its time thus far? It’s not rocket (or any other) science.

I have very little hope that I will see, in my life time, the world learning how to love each other the way Jesus hoped our little finite minds could grasp. So what matters most to me now is what I’m doing with my time. I cherish every breath, every heart beat, every caffeinated drop of blood that flows through my veins…but most of all, I believe in love. And it pains me to see that, throughout history, the world has been led to believe that love is not enough when the truth is, love is everything.

I am the way, the truth and the life. (John 14:6)

I will always respect those who think outside the box and color outside the lines, and it certainly took some guts for Jesus to say that, especially taking into account the philosophies, mythologies and religions that existed during his lifetime. You know the saying: “I’ll believe it when I see it”? Well, I have to say that I’ll believe it when I don’t see it. When I don’t see belief marketed to the masses for money and profit. When I don’t see elaborate churches, temples, idols and mosques built in the name of God or Jesus. When I don’t see people dividing, hating, hurting and destroying and killing (Matthew 24). When I don’t see compassion and doing the right thing giving way to traditions, politics and rules, when I don’t see lies passed off as truth and truth made into lies. Bottom line, don’t be trying to prove to me that God does or doesn’t exist. Don’t be trying to persuade me about Jesus when your self-righteous, hypocritical, systematic belief system convinces me otherwise.

Do I have eternal life? Jesus promises it, but heck, I don’t know, does it matter? Technically, I don’t know what that is, nor can I even comprehend how that can happen. But faith gives me peace, my belief gives me hope—so I can continue my morning jogs, live my simple life, and trust that this little detail called death is covered.

What really matters is that I believe in love, because I know what it’s like to be loved and to be believed in. So first prove to me that love exists. Until then, might want to save your breath. After all, each one is numbered.

The Great [Sales] Commission

“Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.”

When Jesus spoke these words in Matthew 28:16 (known by Christian evangelicals as “The Great Commission”) I think of him as saying, in short: “Get ready, get set…go spread the good news!” So it is a bit interesting to see how, throughout history, Christianity has taken the polar opposite road. Because when Jesus spoke these words, I’m pretty sure he didn’t mean to crusade and force people to become disciples. I’m pretty sure he didn’t mean for people to carve idols and statues, paint images of him, and build ornate churches and temples, start an “-ity” or “-ism”. I’m pretty sure he didn’t mean to manipulate his teachings to fit religious dogma with varying interpretations that create warring denominations. And I could be wrong, but I’m pretty darn sure he didn’t mean to go out and exploit his name and teachings for profit. Ironically, whether today’s Christians wish to admit it or not, a very powerful, golden calf-like anti-Christ has been created, produced and reproduced.

Jesus entered the temple courts and drove out all who were buying and selling there. He overturned the tables of the money changers and the benches of those selling doves. “It is written,” he said to them, “‘My house will be called a house of prayer,’ but you are making it a den of robbers.”  Matthew 21: 12-13

Obviously, Jesus’ spree in the temple courts failed to make an impact, for the marketplace has only grown bigger and stronger, all in the name of profit and corporate religion and what is called “ministry”. There is still division, violence and prejudice and antediluvian traditions that have been perpetuated and clung to for generations…oh yes, and the poor, hungry, homeless and jobless are still among us.

  It might be argued: “But our church has and supports programs and ministries that DO provide for the poor, hungry, homeless and jobless.” It sickens me a bit when I see corporate religious figureheads and charity representatives, smiling for the cameras while holding big oversized checks with their hefty donations. I’m perplexed at how some of these multi-million/billion dollar churches can boast in giving thousands, even millions of dollars to charitable organizations that claim to help the poor, hungry, homeless and jobless…yet the problem still not solved? Who’s doing the books, where is the money going? Is it going to those in need, or those in greed? Did Jesus say that the Good Samaritan (Luke 10: 25-37) first had to set up a ministry, a corporate office, draw a salary and have usage of a company car or limo before helping the man that was beaten, wounded and left for dead on the side of the road to Jericho? Instead of throwing money at the problem (which obviously hasn’t been working)…maybe they could actually put on some grungy jeans, roll up their sleeves, open up those nice little “scripture of the day” Franklin Coveys, and actually schedule a little one-on-one time with the poor, hungry, homeless and jobless that isn’t a part of a photo op for the media.

You hypocrites! Isaiah was right when he prophesied about you:

“‘These people honor me with their lips, but their hearts are far from me.

They worship me in vain; their teachings are merely human rules.’” Matthew 15: 7-9

I’ve often wondered about the concept of tithing. So many use the “render unto Caesar” argument, calling tithing the “render unto God” portion”…or maybe fear is instilled by referring to the story of Ananias and Sapphira (Acts 5:1-20). My opinion is such that no one should feel compelled to blindly give, but how I’ve seen it unfold through the centuries, tithing seems to have become anti-Christ nourishment. In my article, “The Rock Market: In God We Trust”, I talk about my experience in helping a man buy groceries for his family. Hell, I don’t have much; I barely scrape by month to month myself. But when I cangive, I will give what I can. When I see someone in need, I’ll help the best that I can. There have been people in my life who have given and helped me, so it’s the very least I can do. Perhaps a redefinition of tithing is in order—a “golden rule” based concept that would actually make a direct, effective impact, inspiring more to pay it forward. No funneling into the vanity of corporate religions that decide where your money goes…no fear of death, unworthiness, guilt or “sinner” labels if you don’t or can’t pay tithing and could use that money to take care of yourself or your family.

   “Then the King will say to those on his right, ‘Come, you who are blessed by my Father; take your inheritance, the kingdom prepared for you since the creation of the world. For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.’

   “Then the righteous will answer him, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you? When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?’

   “The King will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.’

Matthew 25: 34-40

I do have a heart for people, but I also feel that hand outs do not help out. I would rather contribute to someone getting on their feet, make a difference in their life, help them find a renewed hope, rather than the possibility of contributing to a life of laziness and begging (or thieving) which only perpetuates depression, desperation, despair and discouragement. That, to me, is not the good news of Jesus (that is, thereal Jesus). I have a real respect for the “Good Samaritans” who give above and beyond, with no expectation of return. I have the utmost praise for ministries that could care less about the “denomination abomination” and open their doors with compassion, no matter who comes knocking.

I am fortunate that there are gifts that have been given to me – music, writing, and my passion for community media – that can and already do help many of those who are in need. If we could all think about what we’ve been given – our time, talents and resources – and could funnel them all into unconditionally loving and helping each other instead feeding a corporate religious, political machine, who knows what incredible changes could occur.

I know that there are those out there who might be indignant to what I’ve written, and might attempt to justify themselves or the various ministries they oversee or support. I won’t discount what any good a ministry might provide, but do challenge all in thinking about what God and which Jesus you really “render” to? Which Jesus would preach from a pulpit in a televised mega church, or assume to rule from a throne, scepter in hand…or pick a spot on a mountain or by a lake (Matthew 5-7)? Which Jesus would spend time among celebrities, rub shoulders and schmooze with the rich…or would humbly and quietly visit those in prison, in hospitals, at food banks, under bridges and overpasses? Which Jesus gives hope and encouragement…or profits off of despair and discouragement? Which Jesus would smile for the cameras…or give your temple court a good, swift cleansing? Which Jesus loves conditionally…or unconditionally?

“Be careful not to practice your righteousness in front of others to be seen by them. If you do, you will have no reward from your Father in heaven.

“So when you give to the needy, do not announce it with trumpets, as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and on the streets, to be honored by others. Truly I tell you, they have received their reward in full.

But when you give to the needy, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing, so that your giving may be in secret. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you.

“And when you pray, do not be like the hypocrites, for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and on the street corners to be seen by others. Truly I tell you, they have received their reward in full. But when you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your Father, who is unseen. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you.

And when you pray, do not keep on babbling like pagans, for they think they will be heard because of their many words.

Do not be like them, for your Father knows what you need before you ask him.

Matthew 6: 1-8